Hanukkah Gift Guide + PARTY!
Originally published on The Shabbat Drop by Miranda Lapides on December 16, 2022.
Hanukkah starts on Sunday evening! It’s not too late to spoil your loved ones with these ultimate Jewish gifts: the unique, the necessary, and the just plain weird.
1. Reptile Ugly Hanukkah Sweater
Yes, PetSmart didn’t forget its Jewish customers when we’re shopping for Hanukkah gifts for our reptilian friends. I don’t know a single person who owns a reptile, but to be honest, if I did, I’d probably get them the yeti one. Photo design by Avital Dayanim @ Hey Alma.
2. Sad Potato Slippers
While they’re not exactly latkes (yet!), I found these potato slippers in a Hanukkah gift guide that was meant to be serious. The best part is that they’re heated via USB!!
3. Hanukkah Erotica
How can you pass up a 34-page novel on “lesbian dreidel love?” Cozy up by the fire, sip that hot cocoa, and get steamy with the eloquent prose of Chuck Tingle.
4. Hanukkah Sweater Dress
Including this because when I asked my mom if I should buy this, she said, “No. It looks so short on her like a Hanukkah slut.” How else would you celebrate religious freedom if not by being a Hanukkah slut? Although it is from a website called Tipsy Elves…
5. Tallis-cum-beach shawl from Walmart
Okay Walmart recently took this down, but I’m not letting them off the hook with some good old-fashioned appropriation.
Wherever and however you’re celebrating this year, I feel like we need to go extra hard in light of (no pun intended) recent antisemitism. How does that look for you? Parading down Fifth Avenue in your ugliest, sluttiest Hanukkah sweater? Sending your Jewish besties random gifts they’ll never use? Smelling up your apartment frying latkes and giving them to your neighbor? Throwing back an extra Aperol Shvitz at the Maccabee Bar? I hope you have fun, be safe, and most of all… be proud!
Bonus Gift: Harry & David Hanukkah Wine Set
If you enjoy reading my newsletter, feel free to send me one of these. I’ll happily give you my address or Venmo so I can buy it for myself! I need snacks and wine to keep me writing…
No but really… what are you doing for Hanukkah? What are you most looking forward to? Got any wacky traditions? A weird kind of latke recipe perhaps?
Here’s something to look forward to! The Shabbat Drop is cohosting a Hanukkah party at Time Out Market NYC. If you’re in New York, come celebrate with us. There will be live music, games, entertainment, food, and more! For free! Ignore the fact that there’s a Menorah and not a Hanukkiah on the flyer, I didn’t make it. #marketing #Jewisheducation #classicmixup
